


A Series of FE3H One-Shots/Requests

by FandomMeanderer



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M, FE3H/Reader, M/M, One-Shots, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21716620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomMeanderer/pseuds/FandomMeanderer
Summary: Hi everyone! At the request of many, I moved most of my FE3H Fanfictions to this site from Tumblr, so if you're new to my little crowd, all you have to know is that, unless specified, the reader is another student at Garreg Mach. I hope you enjoy all of these :D
Relationships: Claude von Riegan/Reader, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Reader, Felix Fraldarius/Reader, Ignatz Victor/Reader, Linhardt von Hevring/Reader, Manuela/Byleth, sylvain gautier/reader
Kudos: 92





	1. Sword Fighters Over Skirt Chasers

**Author's Note:**

> Request: Okay, so I absolutely love your writing! I was wondering if you'd be willing to do a FE3H request? It can be any route, but probably alluding to post time skip. The reader is interested in Sylvain, but she catches him being blushy and stumbling over himself when he's talking to Ingrid/another female student. Felix, who likes(loves) reader, as she can actually hold her own in training, wonders why she likes him anyway, low-key jealous. How it's ended is up to you. Keep up the fantastic work! 💝ty
> 
> Pairing: Felix x Reader, a bit of Sylvain x Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: Okay, so I absolutely love your writing! I was wondering if you'd be willing to do a FE3H request? It can be any route, but probably alluding to post time skip. The reader is interested in Sylvain, but she catches him being blushy and stumbling over himself when he's talking to Ingrid/another female student. Felix, who likes(loves) reader, as she can actually hold her own in training, wonders why she likes him anyway, low-key jealous. How it's ended is up to you. Keep up the fantastic work! 💝ty
> 
> Pairing: Felix x Reader, a bit of Sylvain x Reader

The clash of metal filled the air, blades crossing at every possible second. You knew you had to focus, you’re in war for pete’s sake, but your mind just kept drifting for fractions of a second and you would create an opening that Felix worked himself into. Finally, Felix deals the final blow and knocks your sword out of your hand.

“You’re distracted,” he grunts.

“Am I?” You smirk, you immediately roundhouse him. “If this was an actual battle, you’d be out of commission, Felix,” you tease. Felix clicks his tongue and pushes himself off of the floor.

“You’ve got a point, I can’t be careless,” he says. You glance outside of the door and Felix follows your gaze. “Thinking about that idiot again?”

“No!” You shout. “Yes…” you mumble.

“I honestly don’t know what you see in him,” Felix grumbles. “We’re in war. You should be focusing on your training.”

“What do you mean? I just bested you, did I not?”

“That’s hardly relevant!”

“Yeah, yeah,” you roll your eyes. “I think I’m going to tell him tomorrow.”

“Nothing good will come out of that, I promise you.”

“Like you’d know,” you shoot him a disapproving glare.

To say you’ve fallen head over heels for Sylvain is a bit of an understatement. I mean, who wouldn’t fall for his charming good looks? Especially after these five years, you could tell that he has matured since his school days. It doesn’t help that you two have grown quite close as well, what with Professor Byleth always insisting that the two of you work together on the battlefield. You’ve come to love his charming personality. And some will deep down inside is telling you he felt the same.

“I’m gonna call it a night. I take it that you’ll stay here for another hour or so?”

“Yes. Unlike you, I care about surviving.”

“Of course,” you sigh. Felix picks up his sword again and begins to practice his combat arts, signaling an end to the conversation. Taking another huff, you walk out into the crisp night air. 

“Sylvain this, Sylvain that,” Felix buries his sword into the training dummy. “Gods above. Why must you be so dense?!” He completely decapitates the dummy and throws his sword to the ground.

Now, on Felix’s end, he found himself to be completely smitten by you. Who knew he was into women who could totally beat his ass if they wanted to? Imagine the rage that boiled in him when you first mentioned his childhood friend. And after what you said to him just a few moments ago? He’s about to lose you forever, and he never even had the chance.

“Why do I even feel this way?” He scolded himself. Still, his eyes lingered on the door for another moment longer.

Right as you are about to make your way into the dormitories, you notice the candle light coming from your old classroom. Your first thought was of Professor Byleth, he had been working late nights for a while now, it wouldn’t hurt to check on him, right? As you neared the classroom, thats when you heard familiar voices.

“Hey, Ingrid. How are you- I mean, what are you- Are you… you know… off to train again?” Sylvain stumbles over his words. You stop yourself right as you’re about to reach the door, standing behind the wall. You felt yourself about to have a slight breakdown, what a silly thought.

“No, not right now, I was on my way to the dorms,” Ingrid says. “You’re being weird. Have you always been this weird, and I have never noticed?” Ingrid asks with a light tone.

‘Of course it would be Ingrid,’ races through your mind.

“No. I’m pretty sure. I don’t think so. By the by, have you, ya know, fallen for anybody recently?”

‘Oh gods, here is comes.’

“Don’t be ridiculous. What are you even bumbling on about?”

“Well, everyone’s talking about how you got really, uh, pretty. Just, you know, all of a sudden.”

Yup, there it was. Heart, are you okay in there?

You couldn’t even listen to their conversation anymore. You held onto your heart and ran off, careful to not be heard in the night. You found yourself in the training grounds again, this time empty. Felix must have left.

Good for him. He won’t see you having your mental breakdown.

You pick up your sword and dash at the training dummy, delivering blow upon blow.

“Stupid Sylvain! You and your dirty tricks! Making me fall for you! And then tossing me away! Why did I allow myself to be led on by you, you idiot!” You shout. Finally your sword slices one of the dummy’s arms off, and you feel your arms fall.

“So, you finally agree with me,” Felix says behind you. You freeze. Without moving, you speak up.

“How long have you been here?”

“Since I saw you walk in, I figured you left something so I came to see what it was.”

“Gods above…” you curse. You pick up your sword and walk towards the exit, keeping your gaze on the floor because Goddess be damned if you let Felix see you cry. He’d never let you live it down, and for some reason, that coming from him just hit differently. Just as you were about to cross him, he holds his arm out, stopping you in your tracks. “What, Felix? Going to tell me ‘I told you so’?”

“Not exactly,” he spins you around and pushes you against the pillar, one arm keeping you from the exit. His eyes stared into yours. 

“What?” You look to the ground, making another feeble attempt to hide your red eyes. He cups your cheek and pushes you to look at him.

“I guess that idiot was good for one thing,” he musters out. He leans in and you know exactly what’s coming next.

“Which is?”

“Ugh, you’re too dense.” He stops just inches away from your face and lifts his arm, making a move to leave, but you grab his shirt and stop him.

“Wait just a second,” you growl. You stand on the tips of his toes and press a quick kiss. You pull back and quickly walk around him. It was like an instant connection was formed and, something that had to be held back in your subconscious had surfaced itself. Just as you were just a foot away from the door, Felix steps in front of you.

“If you’re going to start something, own up to it and finish it,” he says before capturing your lips once more, but with a different feel than when you were testing the waters. This time, it felt right.

So this is what the first kiss alluded to, it was never Sylvain, it had to have been him.

~

After a not so short session, you were one hundred percent shocked when you and Felix walked out of the training grounds and you saw the damned sun in the sky. The two of you ran into Sylvain on your way to the dorms.

“Wow! You two looked tired,” Sylvain points out. “Were you training all night?”

“Something like that,” Felix glances to the side and scoffs.

“You two are absolute monsters,” Sylvain grimaces. “I’ll catch up with you guys later,” he says, walking off toward the other direction. Felix looks at you, a bit of small anxiety welling up in him.

“Fuck Sylvain.”

“That’s right,” Felix gives you a wild smirk as the two of you share a quick fist bump. “Wait. No.”

“Shit, you’re right,” realization quickly dawned on your face, but you replaced it with your iconic confidence and corrected yourself, “fuck you.”

“That’s better.”


	2. Felix POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: Hi, I may or may not be the one who requested the Felix likes reader but she likes Sylvain fic. That was litro the best thing to wake up to and I may have quietly squealed when I saw it. Thank you so much for writing it; it was perfect!(And for Felix’s P.O.V. you mentioned, I certainly wouldn’t complain seeing it😉) Your work is incredible, and now I have a huge smile on my face(and you may’ve given me the final push to marry Felix instead of Sylvain in my BL run🤫)Thank you so much ~💝♊️
> 
> Pairing: Felix x Reader, a bit of Sylvain x Reader

The clash of metal filled the air, blades crossing at every possible second. But for some reason, it seemed like you were moving slower than usual. Then, right as Felix dodged your incoming attack, he noticed it, the opening he had been waiting for. But you saw it coming too, didn’t you? Too bad, you didn’t react fast enough. Felix flicked his wrist slightly and watched the steel sword fly from your grasp.

“You’re distracted,” he scolds.

“Am I?” Gods, that damn smirk. Felix suddenly feels his legs give out from below him and finds himself on the ground. Of course she would be able to do that. “If this was an actual battle, you’d be out of commission, Felix,” she laughs.

“You’ve got a point, I can’t be careless,” he concedes. He notices her looking towards the door.

‘Oh, right,’ he feels himself grimace. ‘Sylvain.’

“Thinking about that idiot again?” He asks her, but in truth, he really didn’t want to know.

(Full Name) started out as his rival, the only person who bested him on their first try. Then he strove to train harder, and even after all these years, they’re still even matched. For years, that’s what he told himself. He was only getting frustrated because he couldn’t beat her. But goddess was he so very wrong. It wasn’t until they did a mock battle with the Knights of Seiros when he noticed. It was the way you and Sylvain just clicked when you fought together. He didn’t want to admit it but it was true. He was jealous. Jealous of his best friend.

The thought sickened him.

“No!” You shout. A false hope. “Yes…” That’s what he thought.

“I honestly don’t know what you see in him,” Felix grumbles. ‘He’s frivolous, eccentric, and in some cases can be cruel.’ When did he start thinking that way? He shakes his head. “We’re in war. You should be focusing on your training.”

“What do you mean? I just bested you, did I not?”

“That’s hardly relevant!” Felix turned away to hide his blush.

“Yeah, yeah…” You trail off. “I think I’m going to tell him tomorrow.”

Felix suddenly became hyperaware of his own heartbeat, it was beating against his chest and he was afraid that it might just jump out all together.

“Nothing good will come out of that, I promise you,” he musters out.

“Like you’d know!” Felix feels her disapproving glare, he doesn’t need to look back.

Ah, fuck, where’d his heart go? Oh, there it is, on the floor. Yup, let’s just put that back. He really just grabbed his sword. But can he blame her? While his friends were out having fun, he decided to stay in and study the blade. He is a bit… uneducated when it comes to pursuing any form of relationship, really.

“I’m gonna call it a night. I take it that you’ll stay here for another hour or so?”

“Yes. Unlike you, I care about surviving.” That came off a bit colder than he intended it to.

“Of course,” you sigh. Felix picks up his sword again and begins to practice his combat arts, ending the conversation. He hears you huff, then your footsteps leaving the training ground. Once he heard the click of the doors shut, he started attacking with a new found vigor.

“Sylvain this, Sylvain that,” he buries his sword into the training dummy. “Gods above. Why must you be so dense?!” He completely decapitates the dummy and throws his sword on the ground.

He could treat you so much better than Sylvain. He knows his best friend, if he was interested in you he wouldn’t be that cool with you. He knows how this is going to end, and he knows that Sylvain will most likely just drop you once another pretty woman walked past him. Yet here he was, in the training grounds, taking his frustrations out on a dummy. Then, a realization hit him.

He’s about to lose you forever. And he’s never even had the chance.

“Why do I feel this way?” He asked himself. His eyes lingered on the door. 

His thought of you a while longer. The two of you would be a much better team in battle. You’d work better together than you and Sylvain, surely. He’d have to talk about that with Professor Byleth later but… right now all he could think about was the slight possibility of waking up tomorrow and watching you and Sylvain enter the Cardinal’s Room hand in hand. The mere idea of that was enough to make his blood boil.

“Okay, fuck this. I’m going to tell her right now,” then he stormed out of the training grounds. Right as he was about to knock on your dorm floor, he noticed you run back into the training grounds, leaving the door open behind you.

Well, that makes this easier.

He follows you in, taking care not to alarm you. He figured that he wouldn’t listen to what you said until,

“Stupid Sylvain!”

Oh, now he’s definitely listening.

“You and your dirty tricks! Making me fall for you! And then tossing me away! Why did I allow myself to be led on by you, you idiot!” You shout. Felix watches you completely slice off the dummy’s arm in a clean slice. What was this he was feeling? Pride? Surprise? Love? Whatever it was, he was intrigued.

“So, you finally agree with me?” He asks. He sees you tense.

“How long have you been there?”

“Since I saw you walk in, I figured you left something so I came to see what it was.”

“Gods above…” you curse. He watches you pick up your sword and make a beeline toward the exit.

‘Oh no, I’ve already gotten this far,’ Felix thinks to himself. He puts his arm out, stopping you in your tracks.

“What, Felix, going to tell me ‘I told you so’?”

“Not exactly.” Felix takes a deep breath and, in one swift movement, pins you to the pillar. His eyes moved down to stare into yours. Had you been crying?

“What?” You move your gaze to the ground. Great, now you were hiding it from him. He places his hand gently on your cheek and pushes it to meet your gaze again. Only one person could make you cry like that,

‘Sylvain,’ the thought made him grit his teeth. “I guess that idiot was good for one thing,” he accidentally says out loud.

‘Fuck it, I’m going all in.’ Felix leaned in slowly.

“Which is?”

‘Okay. Abort mission. ABORT. MISSION.’ Felix sighs, his head dropping. “Ugh, you’re too dense.” He moves away from you. You grab his shirt and move in front of him, standing slightly on his toes so he wouldn’t try to move away.

“Wait just a second,” you growl. You grab onto his collar and bring him down slightly, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

Felix.exe has stopped working. Felix felt his world stop for the brief second that the two of you kissed. He couldn’t describe it in words, all he knew was that it just felt right. Once he finally came to, he noticed you a foot away from the door. Without thinking, he moved in front of you. You looked up at him, a mix of ‘What now?’ and ‘Please let me leave I’m tired.’ but none of that mattered right now.

“If you’re going to start something, own up to it and finish it,” he says before bending down and capturing your lips once more. He rests his hands on your hips, and there it was again. That feeling of this being just right.

As much as he hates to think this, he’d have to thank Sylvain later. Whatever he did to you led up to this moment. And once Felix felt your arms wrap around his neck he realized that you must have felt the same.

~

“Thanks,” Felix says gruffly. Sylvain looks at him, just about to climb up on his horse.

“For what?”

“It’s not important! Just know that I’m thanking you,” Felix scoffs.

“Right, okay, Felix,” Sylvain jumps on right as Byleth walks up to them. “What’s the game plan, Professor? Should I go pick up (Name)?”

It took every fiber in Felix’s body to not kick his horse and send Sylvain running.

“Actually, (Name) requested that she work with Felix for this mock battle,” Byleth says, eyeing Felix.

“What why would she- Oh.” Sylvain suddenly remembers the events of that morning. “OH.”

“Quit gaping and get ready for battle,” Felix storms off.

“Oh gods,” Sylvain places a hand to his head. “THAT’S WHAT HE MEANT BY ‘SOMETHING LIKE THAT’!”


	3. A Surprise Encounter at the Goddess Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: Could I request a Sylvain scenairio? Maybe something about how he falls head over heals for fem!reader and doesn't really know how to piece together sentences anymore? I love your work, thank you!
> 
> Pairing: Sylvain x Reader

Sylvain never thought he’d be this desperate.

He thought his charms would have worked perfectly but… it all just went over your head! His compliments went in through one year and out the other, and at this point it was getting infuriating. Now, he’s just a hopeless mess. If it had been any other girl he’d be fine, but you were just different. Having been raised in the countryside, you had no idea what a Crest even was, or who he was for that matter. He never thought the he would’ve found someone like you.

And tonight, the stars aligned just right for him.

He just has to make sure that he doesn’t fuck it up.

For tonight just happened to be the night of the ball, and he will get a dance with you if it was the last thing he did.

All he had to do was man up and ask you to join him.

If he could find you that is.

“Have you seen, (Name)?” He slides next to Dimitri. The blond shakes his head.

“Not since the party started,” he says. “Try asking Mercedes, I think they were doing makeup together earlier.”

“Okay, will do, thanks, your highness.”

That conversation led to him speaking to nearly every student, and none of them have seen you. All hope was practically lost at this point. So, he found himself walking to the Goddess Tower, it was far away from the festivities, and it was high enough to help him clear his head.

“Oh, hello, Sylvain,” you wave at him from the balcony.

“H-Hi,” he stammers.

“Come to escape? I’ve always chalked you up to be a sort of party animal,” you laugh. Sylvain walks over to you and leans on the railing.

“Well… Animal… Party… Um, I mean! I’m n-not like that at… at all…” he musters out. You eye him strangely and he clears his throat. “What are… what are you doing up here?”

“Oh well… you know, parties aren’t really my thing. You look down, the songs of the orchestra playing in the distance, just barely muted by the soft winds. “Plus, I really don’t know how to dance. Dimitri asked me to and I freaked out so I ran off.”

“I could teach you!” He blurts out. You turn to him wide eyed and he mirrored your expression.

“You’re acting weird tonight.”

“What? Me? No I’m not! You’re just imagining things, haha,” he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. You move to face him fully. “What?”

“Well, aren’t you going to teach me, Sylvain?”

“I… uh… Well… Yeah…?” He stumbles. You laugh lightly as he turns to face you as well.

“Okay, where do my hands go?”

“Uhm…” Sylvain wanted to say something, he really did, but for some reason he just couldn’t. Instead, he grabbed your left hand and placed it on his shoulder, and took your right and held it up, intertwining his fingers with yours. You give him a supportive smile and his face reddens.

“This is it?”

“Y-Yeah… Then, we just move like this.” You follow his steps, being careful not to step on his toes.

“You’re sweet,” you compliment. “You know, I may be from the country side, but I do know about the Goddess Tower saying.”

Oh Gods he forgot about that.

“I guess that cat’s out of the bag then,” he chuckles as he spins you slowly. “(Name), I really like you. Like… I think I’m in love with you…” And just as you fall into his arms, you answer quietly.

“I think I love you too.”

The two of you continued to waltz in the night, with nothing but the distant orchestra and the lone owl to serve as your guide.


	4. "Coolest" of Garreg Mach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: Hello! I'd like to leave a request if I may! Could I request a Male!Reader crushing on Linhardt please? Reader is probably the coolest dude in school, but doesn't know how to go about talking/confessing to the sleepy nerd. Poor guy probably asks for help on how to confess, who they ask, what and how that advice goes is up to you! Thank you for your time! 💕
> 
> Pairing: Linhardt x Male!Reader

“(Name), please, I’m serious, you’ve got to teach me your ways,” Sylvain pleads. You shrug your shoulders.

“Honestly, Sylvain, I don’t know where you’re coming from. I wouldn’t call myself the ‘Coolest of Garreg Mach,’” you scoff. Sylvain laughs.

“Ha! You might not, but you’re on the top of almost every student in school’s list!” His jaw drops.

“Hi, (Name)!” A female student calls. You shot a wink toward the incoming student, not surprised by their immediate blush which was followed by an excited whisper toward her friends. Sylvain looks at you with a raised eyebrow and an ‘I told you so’ expression. 

Okay maybe you were the coolest guy in school. But that still doesn’t erase the fact that there was that one person who you could never speak clearly to.

“Well, Mr. Coolest of Garreg Mach, there’s gotta be a special lady you’ve got your eye on, eh?” He probes. You roll your eyes.

“For the last time, Sylvain, I don’t have any woman in mind.”

I mean, you’re technically not lying. Then, just as the Goddess willed it, you happened to cross paths with the thief of your heart. And… Oh gods, is he falling?!

“Linhardt!” You shout, lunging forward and catching him. Then, you swear you felt your heart stop.

‘Oh my goddess this is actually happening. Is this really Lin? IT IS. OKAY. DO NOT DROP HIM, (NAME), DO NOT DO IT.’

“Hey, (Name), are you…” Sylvain paused. “Ho… ly… shit.”

“Sylvain help me I don’t know what to do.”

“Uh, why not put him down?”

“On the cold floors? That’s cruel, Sylvain.”

“Okay, um, put him on that bench over there.”

“Right.” Linhardt was a lot lighter than you expected him to be, which in a way sent you in a frenzy because good goddess has he been eating right? Either way, you and Sylvain found yourselves on the parallel bench, with you taking deep breaths. “Be still my beating heart…”

“Man, you have got it bad,” Sylvain laughs. “No wonder you always told me you didn’t have a girl in mind.”

“Yeah… yeah…” You nod. “Sylvain, I’m going to ask you this and I need pure, honest advice.”

“Uh huh.”

“How do I tell him?”

“That you like him?”

“Yeah.”

“Well make sure he’s awake first,” Sylvain jokes. The intense stare made his laugh fall into silence. “Okay, okay. What I would do in this situation is that I’d probably get him a nice pillow or something, then tell him something sweet. Linhardt seems like a good guy when he’s attentive.”

“Okay, yeah, I’ll try that,” you nod. “I’ll just wait for him to wake up.”

“Good idea, lad, alright, I’m gonna go,” Sylvain claps your shoulder.

“Wait you’re seriously not just going to leave me, right?”

“Well it looks like you’ve got this in the bag, (Name), trust me, everything will go smoothly.”

“Sylvain, wait, no-”

“Later!” Sylvain books it, leaving you sitting on the bench. Then, a groggy yawn grabs your attention. He looks around and sits up on the bench, looking slightly confused.

“L-Linhardt!” You scramble from your seat and move next to him. “Y-You passed out in the hallway, so I moved you over here, I hope you don’t mind.”

“It’s fine, thank you.”

“No problem!” You say loudly. Maybe a bit too loudly.

“I’m going back to sleep.”

“Wait!” You grab onto his arm. Linhardt looks at you.

“Yeah?”

“Uh… Well, I was wondering if you’d like to join me for…”

“For…?”

“Some tea!” Is what you were supposed to say, but instead it came out as: “Some beats!”

“Uh… you’d like me to go with you to choir practice?”

“Yes! Wait, oh gods, no… I’m sorry, I meant to say tea,” you cover your eyes in embarrassment, which only got worse when you heard Linhardt laugh.

“Sure, tea sounds nice.”

“Really?”

“Yes, though I’ll have to raincheck for later,” Linhardt stretches his arms above his head. “Come catch me again later, Mr. ‘Coolest in Garreg Mach.’“

“Oh, not you too,” you sigh. Linhardt smiles lazily at you.

“Later, (Name).”

“Bye,” you watch him leave. Once he’s fully gone you jump up and down, patting yourself on the back and making a little victory shout.

~

“Yeah, I like him,” Linhardt smiles warmly. Caspar looks over his shoulder.

“Who, (Name)?”

“Yeah…”

“Why?”

“He lets me nap instead of waking me up.”

“That’s it,” Caspar groans.

“Well, there’s more, but that’ll have to wait, good night.”

“It’s… it’s midday, Linhardt… Linhardt…?”

“Zzz…”

“Good luck to, (Name),” Caspar looks over to watch as (Name) let out a howl of… what is that, excitement? Whatever. Linhardt seems to like him a lot, which is all that matters in the end, right?


	5. Coolest of Garreg Mach Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: Oh my goodness I'm gushing over the male!reader X Linhardt scenario you wrote! It's so cute! But what if Mr. Coolest of Garreg Mach showed Sylvain the ways of being cool? 👀
> 
> Pairings: Linhardt x Male!Reader

“Alright, Sylvain. I’m not going to go easy on you,” you warn. Sylvain just nods his head.

“I’m ready, (Name).”

“Okay, lesson one is the hardest, Sylvain, are you absolutely sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure!”

“Can you get on with it? (Name) says I can’t sleep until you complete all three lessons,” Linhardt yawns.

“Come on! Hit me already, (Name)!”

Lesson One

“You have to go three hours without flirting with anyone.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Time starts…” You gesture towards Linhardt. He clicks a pocket watch.

“Now,” he finishes. You loop your arm in Linhardt’s and you two walk off together.

“Wait, you can’t just leave me here!” Sylvain panics.

“You’ll be fine! And don’t think we’re not watching, we have spies everywhere,” you say, entering the dining hall. “Good luck Sylvain!”

He’s really doing this. Wow, he’s really working on becoming as cool as Mr. Coolest in Garreg Mach. Okay, he can do this. No flirting. Easy.

“Hey, Sylvain!” A rather cute student waved to him.

“H-” He felt a sudden chill. Someone was watching him. He looked around the courtyard, who was it? Who was the spy? Who was reporting to you as he was freaking out? Okay, just two hours, fifty-eight minutes, and twenty-three seconds left.

He’ll survive.

It was Caspar, by the way.

Lesson Two

You and Linhardt find Sylvain collapsed in front of the altar in the Cathedral.

“So he can nap and I can’t?”

“He’s not napping, he’s praying,” you snicker. You nudge him with your shoe gently. “Hey, Sylvain, you made it. Three hours are up, buddy.”

“I did?” His voice sounded hoarse.

“Yeah, come on, it’s time for lesson two.” Sylvain jumped up with a new found vigor and looked at you intensely.

“I’m ready.”

“You sure? Looks like lesson one really took its toll on you,” you worry.

“I’m fine. I can handle it.”

“He’s really persistent,” Linhardt frowns. “Don’t be too hard on him.”

“Don’t worry, I’m going way easy on him,” you whisper. “Okay, Sylvain. Lesson two. We’re in the chapel already, so this makes things so much easier.”

“What do you mean…?”

“Well, just outside this area happens to be the largest population of the Monastery’s resident cats, right? Well, I need you to bring twenty of them to me.”

“How does this make me cooler?”

“Well, I mean,” you whistle and twenty cats flooded to you. “It works for me.” In another whistle the cats scattered.

“What the hell…”

“See you in a bit, Sylvain,” you wave him off, finally giving in to Linhardt’s pulling.

“Wait, shouldn’t you be here so I know where you are?”

“Looks like you’re just going to have to find me,” you shrug. Sylvain frantically called for you even as you exited the grand doors.

“You know, you could’ve just told him that we’re going to wait outside.”

“Nah, he’s smart, he’ll figure that out.”

~

“Hello, Mr. Cat,” Sylvain slowly walks up to a tabby cat, prepared to grab him. The cat looks over its shoulder lazily. Intrigued by what the hell this kid wanted with it. He moved closer to Sylvain. “That’s it, just come closer, little buddy.” Once he was in an arms reach, Sylvain grabbed him.

“ONE DOWN NINETEEN TO GO!” He ran around collecting cats, not even caring about the amount of scratches and scars he was receiving. 

“That’s no way to make friends with the cats…” Ashe frowns. “I really hope (Name) knows what he’s doing.” He worriedly watches Sylvain pick up another cat and sighs. He really only agreed to do this because he was worried about what Sylvain would do. Now, his friend just looks… sad. He’s never this persistent when he’s trying to charm the other school girls. 

Finally, Sylvain had twenty cats under his arms when he made a mad dash to find you and get away from this hell. What he didn’t notice, however, is that he ran right past you and across the bridge.

“Should we… should we tell him?” Linhardt asks.

“No. He’ll be back.”

“That’s cruel…”

“He’s the one who wanted to be cool, right?”

Final Lesson

Sylvain stumble up the steps of the Cathedral and found you sitting on the ground next to Linhardt. Your boyfriend was snoozing away peacefully with his head on your shoulder and you were writing down notes on a piece of parchment. Sylvain dumped the cats in front of you, each of the mewling angrily.

“Here… Here are your damn cats…” He huffs. You whistle and the cats sit next to you.

“You turned up better than I was expecting, Sylvain,” you laugh. You watched the sun begin to set behind him while you nudge Linhardt softly and he opens his eyes lazily and sits up. “One last lesson, Sylvain. It’s not too late to opt out, you know.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m covered in claw marks. It looks like I’m having an affair. I have nothing left to lose.”

“Alright, then, follow me.” The three of you walk for a short moment before ending up at the arena of the final battle, so to say.

“The Library?” Sylvain cocks his head.

“During your first lesson, Lin and I came up here and marked the insides of certain books with a star sticker, luckily, we just placed them in the front covers.

“That was my idea, if I didn’t say anything you would’ve had to dig through all of the books,” Linhardt adds in.

“Yup. So now your job is to find all of those books, read the star marked passages, and write me a paper telling me what they each had in common to one another. And since this is your final lesson, we decided to make it the hardest.”

“How so?”

“We’re not going to tell you how many books are marked, or how many passages are marked.”

“Goddess please forgive me…”

“You can still opt out, Sylvain.”

“No! I won’t!”

“Okay, all I can say now is good luck then. And don’t worry about what Professor Byleth will think, Lin and I already got that covered.”

“Good night, Sylvain,” Linhardt says. He walks with you out of the library and you shut the doors softly.

“There is a reason behind all of this… right, (Name)?” Linhardt asks,

“Yup. I know I said this is the final lesson, but I’ll quiz him tomorrow on what he thinks the purpose of these lessons were.”

“So you aren’t just making him suffer?”

“Of course not, Sylvain is a good friend of mine, after all.”

“If you say so, (Name).”

~

“Okay… okay I can do this.” Sylvain looks around the library. Then, another knock at the door. It creaks open slowly and Felix walks in.

“What is it that you got yourself into, Sylvain?” He asks.

“I asked (Name) to show me how he became so cool, so he set up these three lessons for me. This is the last one,” Sylvain says, opening his first book.

“So that’s why you’ve been running around like a chicken with its head cut off.”

“Yeah… I don’t suppose you can help me, can you?”

“Even if I could I wouldn’t.”

“Right… Of course,” Sylvain opens his second book. Still no dice. He sighed. It was going to be one hell of a night.

Conclusion

You and Linhardt walked into the Library the next morning and found Sylvain just finishing up the paper. He had forty two books next to him, the correct number of books that you and Linhardt had marked the day before. Sylvain pushed the ten page essay toward you.

“It’s done.”

“Alright,” you take the essay and read through the first couple of paragraphs. “Tell me, Sylvain, what did you learn from these lessons?”

“What did I… what now?”

“What did you learn?” Sylvain looks at you and cocks his head. “Sylvain, I’m not going to make you do these things for no reason. So tell me, what did you get out of it?” Sylvain pondered for a moment, then it hit him.

“The first lesson, you told me not to do the one thing I always do, flirting. At first, all I could think of is ‘what does this have to do with becoming cool?’ But now that I reflect on it, it was as if you were training me to hold back.”

“Mmhmm.”

“For lesson two, I didn’t notice it until I was making my way back to the cathedral, but the cats really started liking me once I put them down and let them just follow. All I had to do was be nice to them, then I didn’t have to force them to come.”

“You’re on the right track, Sylvain.”

“And for this final lesson, it really reminded me of you. Because you have this weird uncanny ability of being able to put things that have no relevance together to make something better. Hence the completely different books and the one paper I had to make on them.”

“Wow, you actually got it,” Linhardt was surprised, to say the least. You hand the paper to him and smile at Sylvain.

“Well, there you have it, Sylvain. Now you know how I became the apparent ‘Coolest in Garreg Mach’.”

“That’s… that’s it?”

“Yup. I didn’t pull any strings to become cool, I just decided to be myself.”

“Huh…” Sylvain sighed. “Sorry, man, but that’s a lot of work I did for a kind of underwhelming answer.”

“I’m not disagreeing, Sylvain, but that’s really the truth. When you walk around the halls today, why don’t you pay more attention to how people interact with you? Like I said, I didn’t make you do these for no reason.”

“O-Okay…”

“I’ll see you later, bud!” You and Linhardt walk off again, leaving Sylvain behind. He walks over to the table and nudges Felix awake.

“Well… did you get your answer?” He asks groggily.

“Yeah… I think I did.”

“Can I go now?”

“Yup.”

“Finally,” Felix pushes himself up. “Just for the record, Sylvain, I really didn’t think you had to do all that yesterday. You’re… you’re already cool as is.”

“What was that? What did you say?” Sylvain stopped in his tracks and looked over to the half asleep Felix.

“Don’t make me say it again, Sylvain!” He grumbles. He picks up the pace and walks ahead of Sylvain. “Now come on, the Professor is going to be mad that we’re late.”

“Okay, okay!” Sylvain couldn’t stop the huge smile forming on his face.

Despite the all nighter he pulled, Sylvain felt like he was ready to take on the world right now. He felt great, energized, and so cool right now. Huh, maybe he could even compete with you for the title someday? Nah.


	6. Cook Off of Eagle and Lion (and Deer)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a Request! Original from me!
> 
> Pairings: Reader x Platonic!Blue Lions Class
> 
> Warnings: It was supposed to be a lowkey crack fic

It all started with a simple request from Flayn.

“Oh professor!” She called out. Byleth turned around to look at her. “I was wondering if you had enough ingredients for some soup?”

Then… Then this chaos happened.

“Ashe, get the tomatoes! Dedue, you focus on cooking and adding ingredients to the pot! And Dimitri,” you ponder for a moment. “You can just chop the ingredients.”

“A wise choice,” Dimitri smiles wryly.

Seteth had called on a “Soup Making Contest” and the winning house was allowed more extended free time for the next week along with a pass for the most upgraded and updated equipment from the armory. With the help of a strangely dedicated Byleth, the dining hall was converted into a large kitchen with three stations for the three houses. Whoever made the best and the most soup would be declared winner, and by the goddess, everyone was so much more into it than anyone would have ever expected.

“(Name)!” Mercedes called. “How much spice do I add to this stew?” You run over and take a quick taste, completely taken aback by how sweet it was.

“Add a pinch of salt and some more onions,” you instruct. And of course, your worst nightmare had to occur.

“ONE OF THE STATIONS IS BURNING. I REPEAT. IT’S ON FUCKING FIRE!” Sylvain shouts, ducking for cover. Annette runs over, trying to tame the flames, but surprise surprise, using a Fire spell only makes the fire WORSE, Annette.

You grab a bucket of water and run over, splashing the entire thing, not caring about a now dripping wet Dimitri because let’s be honest he looks better that way anyways.

“Sylvain, toss everything in the pot, it can’t be salvaged. Ashe! I need you to grab some more Noa Fruit and Teutates Pike.”

“Yes, ma’am!” The two shout.

“Annette! Bring those three plates to Flayn!” Annette salutes and executes her task. “We are going to win this.”

The Blue Lions had to have the most effective chain of action. With Dimitri and Felix chopping the vegetables, Mercedes and Annette on transport, Ashe and Dedue on stove duty, and you and Ingrid on management, it was perfect. You decided it would be best to keep Sylvain on support, sending him to different stations where he was needed.

Stove duty was clearly not his thing.

Also just if you’re curious, Mellow is on ingredient duty, he’s such a good boy.

~

The competition was fierce, but not that fierce.

The Golden Deer side wasn’t doing so hot either. Especially with Raphael adding way too much meat to each pot and the constant Lorenz vs. Claude power struggles. If the Blue Lions side was loud, the Golden Deers were louder.

“RAPHAEL. CAN YOU QUIT DOING THAT?!” Lysithea shouts. She takes out at least four bones of some animal from the pots and tosses them out. “Meat ingredients go in the meat pot and vegetable ingredients go to the vegetable pot. They have never, and will never, mix!”

“Alrighty!” Raphael, of course, is always all smiles.

“Ugh, do I have to do this?” Hilda lays down on one of the counter tops. “Marianne, you do it.”

“O-Okay…” the blue haired girl grabs a carrot and chops it slowly. She’s still chopping. Still chopping.

“Ugh! Just let me do it!” Hilda jumps up and starts chopping ingredients at lightning speed, pushing them towards Claude, who skewered them with an arrow and shot them across the station towards Leonie, who was in charge of cooking. Once Leonie was finished, she handed them off to Ignatz, who plated the dishes and served them to Flayn, both people slowly growing concerned with the number of plates on the table.

The Black Eagles on the other hand… Um…

“I’m gonna fight them!” Caspar shouts, pounding into the albenian moose. All to tenderize the meat of course, for cooking naturally. Petra, on the other hand, continued to add various exotic spices to the stew, claiming to make it more tasteful.

“And I am Ferdinand von Aegir!” Ferdinand quickly chops the vegetables in the way of a noble which isn’t that well and passes them off to Petra. Petra then passes it along to Edelgard, who in turn passed it off to Hubert. The three of them combined allowed them to mass produce soup at a faster rate. Hubert, who may or may not be cheating a bit, would add extra flames with his magic to the pots to make them boil faster, but that’s just between him and Edelgard.

Dorothea was the only one with a stable enough composure to deliver the bowls of soup to Flayn without spilling the majority of the soup. The job used to fall upon Linhardt, until he fell asleep half way to the table. He’s still asleep one the floor but no one could be bothered to move him right now.

Long story short, the only ones who actually know what the hell they’re doing is Edelgard, Hubert, and Dorothea.

~

At the faculty table, the chaos amongst them nearly fell upon deaf ears.

“What do you think Flayn? Is it to your liking?” Seteth asks, oblivious to his sister’s puffed cheeks and pouting mouth.

“It is simply fine, brother,” she hisses. Seteth smiles.

“Wondrous, more soup is coming your way, I assure you,” he smiles. Flayn huffs and shoves another spoonful down her mouth.

“I do like the Blue Lions’ assembly line method,” Hanneman comments. “But the Black Eagles’ mass production method is allowing them to conquer the quantity field.”

“Quality will always be better than quantity, Hanneman,” Manuela cuts in. “Observe the Golden Deer. They have engineered a fast and efficient way to produce quality soup.”

“I think the Blue Lions are going to win this,” Byleth states. Jeralt, Alois, and Catherine sit near Flayn, taking some of the bowls of soup from her to alleviate the soup hell she had subjected herself to. Shamir and Cyril on the other hand watched with slight amusement. Even Lady Rhea herself couldn’t pass up the opportunity to watch her students.

Finally, after thousands of bowls of soup, Seteth called time. The house leaders all walked up to the table and awaited anxiously for Flayn’s choice of winner.

“Blue Lions!” She announces. A mix of applause and groans filled the room as she stood up. “You all fought valiantly, and each soup tasted delectable. I thank you for your participation, and I apologize for my brother’s… eccentricity for this event.”

And thus ended the Cook off of Eagle and Lion (and Deer).


End file.
